Beauty, Brains, or Both?

Can we love ourselves in excess? I believe we can have an excess of anything, but as with everything in life, too much of a good thing can become dangerous. I have come across many instances where an overabundance of self love quickly, and imperceptibly, becomes vanity, conceit, and sheer narcissism. There is no question that we are living in an increasingly narcissistic generation, and I see this egotism and hunger for admiration and attention, predominantly among our young girls. The girls I come across have mentalities that are so immature; thinking that beauty and the love of sex is somehow what makes the world go around; they are delusional, naive and simply don't have a clue. Even sadder are the ones with very little self esteem; the ones who need, depend on, and crave the attention of their peers in order to feel even an ounce of self worth. There is an obvious outcry for love and attention that needs to be addressed. The attention solicited as a result of what these girls are putting out there in this social age, is in fact harmful as opposed to beneficial; it's the reason why some of these girls experience hurt and disappointment and the irony of it all is that they have no one to blame but themselves.

Since the start of this blog I have been preaching self love and self esteem, and my position hasn't changed. I want girls to love themselves and love their bodies as well as to embrace their experience as young women in such a perplexed society, but I want to bring to your attention some of the different behaviors I see where self love is abused and tainted. I see girls posting their provocative pictures all over twitter, facebook, BBM and every other social network you can think of; flaunting their naked bodies to every ogling eye. Every picture, every tweet, every status update saturated with sex and sexuality. No intelligent thing is coming out of these girls' mouths; everything is sex sex sex with them. Where are the girls talking about the interesting course they are taking, or the inspirational book they just read? It's depressing to see the lack of substance and quality of the girls in this day and age. These are the same girls who complain that there are no good men; all they get are dogs and assholes. You think?

I'm not saying it's wrong for a young lady to embrace her sexuality or to be open about discussing sex. In fact, I commend your sexual assurance, but I am a strong advocate in the idea that there is a time and a place for everything. I am an equally strong believer that woman should carry themselves with class and dignity. This includes speaking tastefully and intelligently. If everything that comes out of your mouth is sexually charged, then where is the essence and fabric behind your being? Ok, maybe the love of sex is a part of your personality, because I know some of y'all are gonna argue that, but at least balance it out a little, share something thoughtful, give some enlightening or uplifting advice, share the depth of your character, your kind heart, your intelligence or whatever it is that makes you an outstanding person. You've heard me say it many times before, I know you have it in you. I find it hard to believe that sex is all you're about.

Another thing I see is girls dressing so scanty they may as well have left their house in a bra and panty. Cover up! The world doesn't need to see your ass and breasts. As a matter of fact, with clothes on, it is still unmistakable that they exist so I am not understanding what all the nakedness is for. Furthermore, stop with the getting naked in front of your mirrors, snapping pics of yourself in the bare minimum with your phones and posting them on every social site for the entire world to see. 5:10, so and so changed display picture, 5:15, so and so changed display picture, 5:20, so and so changed display picture; each picture, a plethora of ass, breasts, pouting lips and tongues hanging out as if you are dogs. Are we that bored? I know they say sex sells but y'all aren't prostitutes! Stop selling your bodies and start selling your minds for a change. This kind of behavior is empty foolishness, which in tern attracts empty individuals who care only for what they can see on the outside and nothing about the content of the character inside. You can`t complain that all you come across are assholes when all you're giving the world is your body. When Tom, Dick and Harry know what 90% of your body looks like, just based on what you show them in pictures or how you dress to go out, what is left for your husband? Is 10% really all you're giving him because of the mere fact he's seen it all before on facebook? Come on! Let's get real.

The interesting thing is that it's the pretty girls behaving like this. I know how it is. You already get negative attention just by being pretty and you`re just adding to the negative attention by putting it all out there. All these girls have left to do is take off what little clothes they have left on and give to these men what all their pictures and statuses say they're willing to give. Some of these girls are banking on their good looks; thinking their pretty face is what's gonna get them by; not knowing that a pretty face and bangin' body is void if there's nothing to back it. These behaviors scream insecurity at a volume so deafening that it hurts. One may disguise it as the self love I've elaborated on in previous posts, but in actuality, this behavior is quite the opposite. It shows a lack of love and respect for yourself and it shows that there is much growing up to do and a lot of insecurity issues to tackle. What are you afraid of by showing another dimension of yourself? Is it that you're not going to get as much attention? You'd be surprised at the positive attention you will attract from men who appreciate both brains and beauty, men who are looking for a classy, sophisticated women, men who are turned on by your intelligence and not by your stupid half naked profile picture, men who like women who simply have respect for themselves. In my opinion the positive attention is way better than the negative.

Ladies, it's simple. Beauty will only take you so far. Pair that beauty with brains and see the world that it opens up for you. I'll share with you my personal philosophy to help get you started with this change today. After cleaning up your social atmosphere and in essentially your mouths, aim for a life that is edifying to not only yourself but to others. Leave your mark on the people you come across with things that matter and are meaningful. Allow your beauty to be more than skin deep.